Dear God, please don't listen to me. -Simon, age 3
I overheard my son say this today. How many times have I prayed a request, then added the obligatory, "You know, but only your will, Lord." I try to mean it, I really do. And most times, I do truly mean it. I know that my plans are useless and that nothing succeeds outside of God's will. But, I confess, there are times that I just want something. Really, really want something. I think about it too much. It turns my face away from the Holy Spirit. I want it, but not only if it's God's will. I want it even if it's not really His will. He can make it work, right? Sigh. This is wrong. This is sin. This is thinking that I know what the best plan is. This is putting me first and Jesus last. Yikes. So. What do we do with these situations?
Our precious Jesus, the one who took on all my sin, all the sins of the world, asked His father to take this punishment from Him. His humanness was so overwhelmed by the weight of what He was about to do, that He sweated blood. Blood! Yet, in His perfect heart, He added, in all honesty, "nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will." He knew that all good, all love, all beauty, comes from the Lord and only the Lord. He knew that we could not be saved without Him. He put all of us before Him, He put himself last so that God's glory could be put above all. He became last so that the glory of God could be first.
This is our example. Our only recourse to right our hearts is to pray.
Precious Jesus,
Please fill me with your Holy Spirit. Please teach me to put my worldly desires last and to put your will first in my heart. Please keep my face to you at all times, so that your love may reflect to others as well as to my own dark heart. Please, Holy Spirit, filter my requests so that God doesn't listen to those that are not of Him. Please, please, Holy Spirit, change the requests in my heart to only things that God wants of me. Lord, my father, mold my heart. Make me to want to know and do your will at all times, for only your glory. Show me your grace, Lord, forgive me for having desires that are not yours. All praise to you, Jesus. Thank you for your abundant grace. Amen.
