...If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.
Today 3 1/2 year old Margaret (who is transitioning out of naps) fell asleep on a chair in the living room. She woke up after only 1/2 hour, apparently out of a nightmare, screaming. This escalated into a full on temper tantrum lasting nearly 45 minutes. At some point she calmed down and asked for an apple. I washed & peeled one and handed it to her. Her younger brother did something to set her off again and she threw the apple. At this point I was out of sympathy and furiously began kneading pizza dough for dinner. Margaret eventually picked up her apple and wandered back to the living room chair, where she began screaming that her apple was yucky now. I said, "Margaret, come here & I will wash your apple for you." She responded with a barely coherent "NO! YOU COME HERE!"
At this point, as I was praying to be the graceful, calm, peaceful, understanding parent I've read about, something dawned on me. How many times have I been frustrated with whatever situation in life and sat screaming to God to show up? And in those anxious moments, how many times have I, pouting, refused to come to him? How often I've asked him why this or why that and not picked up the bible AND COME TO HIM? How often has he stood there, waiting for me, so he can wash away the dirt? I sit in the dark and allow satan to poke at me while I pout and cry and ask God to show up. But I don't get up, pick up the word, and quiet myself in order to listen to the one who loves me.
So many things I learn from these little ones. I pray, Dear Father, that you allow these lessons to make me the mommy you made me to be. Thank you for always remind me to chin up & turn to the light. For teaching me to recognize and focus on your light in all the darkness. I pray that you would shine brightly in our home, even & especially in the dark moments.
All is grace.
Today 3 1/2 year old Margaret (who is transitioning out of naps) fell asleep on a chair in the living room. She woke up after only 1/2 hour, apparently out of a nightmare, screaming. This escalated into a full on temper tantrum lasting nearly 45 minutes. At some point she calmed down and asked for an apple. I washed & peeled one and handed it to her. Her younger brother did something to set her off again and she threw the apple. At this point I was out of sympathy and furiously began kneading pizza dough for dinner. Margaret eventually picked up her apple and wandered back to the living room chair, where she began screaming that her apple was yucky now. I said, "Margaret, come here & I will wash your apple for you." She responded with a barely coherent "NO! YOU COME HERE!"
At this point, as I was praying to be the graceful, calm, peaceful, understanding parent I've read about, something dawned on me. How many times have I been frustrated with whatever situation in life and sat screaming to God to show up? And in those anxious moments, how many times have I, pouting, refused to come to him? How often I've asked him why this or why that and not picked up the bible AND COME TO HIM? How often has he stood there, waiting for me, so he can wash away the dirt? I sit in the dark and allow satan to poke at me while I pout and cry and ask God to show up. But I don't get up, pick up the word, and quiet myself in order to listen to the one who loves me.
So many things I learn from these little ones. I pray, Dear Father, that you allow these lessons to make me the mommy you made me to be. Thank you for always remind me to chin up & turn to the light. For teaching me to recognize and focus on your light in all the darkness. I pray that you would shine brightly in our home, even & especially in the dark moments.
All is grace.
