I am prone to navel gazing; to overwhelming, kicking & screaming fits of anxiety. I am not proud of these moments. They are debilitating & render me barely able to get the kids & me through the day.
But I know something to be true. God, the creator of the universe, keeps all my tears in a bottle. (Psalm 56:8) He hears my cries & understands. Better yet, he already has it all taken care of. His plan is far greater than my shortsightedness could ever dream. Only in his perfect light are we able to see his path. Without him, there are only our own filters of experience. Each disappointment, worry, regret, arrogant thought, or angry comment only adds another shade to our darkness. Only when we allow him to remove these filters are we able to see through his eyes.
So how do I reconcile what my head knows but my heart doesn’t? I don’t really. I can’t do it myself. Only through time in his word & constant prayer can God work in me. I repeatedly fail at this, but I’m trying. I know he wants his light reflected in me. I know he wants my kids to see his light in my face, not a scowl. So I will praise him for allowing me to know his truths. I will praise him for being my light. And I will chin up & be of good cheer. I will make the decision to keep my face to him, even & especially when I don’t feel like it. And I know he will work in me for his good purpose & fill my life with his light.
But I know something to be true. God, the creator of the universe, keeps all my tears in a bottle. (Psalm 56:8) He hears my cries & understands. Better yet, he already has it all taken care of. His plan is far greater than my shortsightedness could ever dream. Only in his perfect light are we able to see his path. Without him, there are only our own filters of experience. Each disappointment, worry, regret, arrogant thought, or angry comment only adds another shade to our darkness. Only when we allow him to remove these filters are we able to see through his eyes.
So how do I reconcile what my head knows but my heart doesn’t? I don’t really. I can’t do it myself. Only through time in his word & constant prayer can God work in me. I repeatedly fail at this, but I’m trying. I know he wants his light reflected in me. I know he wants my kids to see his light in my face, not a scowl. So I will praise him for allowing me to know his truths. I will praise him for being my light. And I will chin up & be of good cheer. I will make the decision to keep my face to him, even & especially when I don’t feel like it. And I know he will work in me for his good purpose & fill my life with his light.
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